You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
