Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
