i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize