I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
