We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
