She just used a chaser for red wine.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
