And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
