what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize