Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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