Best friends brother. Beat that.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
