Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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