did you get engaged???
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
