wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
