tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
