Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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