wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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