Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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