There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
