So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
