The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Drunk is not a location!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
