Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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