I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize