So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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