I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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