My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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