Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
