You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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