It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
