you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
