so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
