I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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