Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
