Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
