i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
