saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize