Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
