apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
there was a trapeze. enough said
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
