i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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