Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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