Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
