they need to just BURY HIM!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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