did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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