so that wasnt chicken after all
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
