oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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