***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
