So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
