We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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