i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize