Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
