I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
