dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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