You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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