After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
is wine microwaveable?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
