I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
