I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
