CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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