...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
