I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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