AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
