you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
