I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize