I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
