Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
