Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
