so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
