Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
