Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
