Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
