Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
