You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think I sprained my soul last night
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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