How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize