You really coming over, don't trick.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
