it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
