Do you still have your period?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
