Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
