just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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