how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
