This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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